tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32921535262710128422024-03-08T10:53:13.525+05:30Give and techWhatever... as long as it has to do with technology... and I have a smile on my face as I write it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-90446646643459235292014-04-05T09:57:00.000+05:302014-04-05T09:57:34.012+05:30Small screen, big problem<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>A random study of the evolution
of domestic tiffs through the ages has revealed a key trigger that catalyses most
fights – technology.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was the era of technology. Marriages had never had it so
good before. Gadgets did all the work, computers did all the thinking and
mobiles did all the networking. Life should have been perfect, but it wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Both man and his wife were constantly bickering. To keep
them apart, the Creator invented the television, with sports channels for man
and entertainment channels for the wife, so the two of them would be suitably
distracted. Initially both channels operated for only a few hours a day, so the
couple shared the TV amicably. But trouble began when both sports and
entertainment became 24 hours. The battle began with renewed vigour, with each trying
to hog the TV all the time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The man, wanting to outsmart the wife, came up with the
channel-changing Vuvuzela, which was equipped with an 8-bit microchip and a
tiny microphone, and operated using Arduino technology. When he blew the
Vuvuzela, it intercepted the sound waves produced and sent an infrared signal
to the set top box. This resulted in the entertainment channel immediately
being changed to a sports channel. Point, blow, change channel - it was really
that simple. It was a double bonanza - each time he blew it, he not only made
his wife go stone-deaf, but also succeeded in changing the channel she was
watching.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, the wife turned out to be smarter than the man and
quietly replaced the Vuvuzela with another musical instrument that would make
music from tattoos. The instrument comprised an Arduino circuit board, a
stepper motor and in-built black line sensors, which scanned the skin and read
the tattoos. This resulted in electronic sounds being produced. Every little
indentation and design element in the tattoo could be read as a note or an
instruction. The device could also be controlled manually - with a 3D Wii
remote controller - and by varying the speed and direction of the sensors, different
audio tracks could be created from the same tattoo. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It turned out to be a disaster for man as most footballers
had tattoos from head to toe, and the instrument scanned all their tattoos like
bar codes and began playing music. Since the EPL had players from all over the
world, the music that emerged from the instrument sounded pretty confused and
weird, like a million school kids playing their favourite instruments together.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So the man decided to go one-up on his wife and designed the
Alert Shirt, which would bypass the tattoo reader and help him experience the
game as though he were playing it. Created using haptic technology, the shirt
was equipped with a battery and feedback motors that transmitted impulses to
the skin. These impulses were triggered via data obtained through Bluetooth,
using a smartphone app. Wearing the shirt, he could feel every emotion and
physical action – from euphoria to exhaustion, from sledges to shoves - that
happened on the field.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not to be outdone, the wife came up with make-up technology
that could help her control gadgets with a wink. Called Blinkifier, the kit
comprised metallic false eyelashes and a conductive eyeliner, which would
recognise the contraction of the eye muscles when the eyelids moved. Each time
she blinked, the two eyelashes would make contact and thus complete a circuit.
This would then send an infrared signal to the gadget in front and thus help her
change the channel.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Creator had had enough. To ensure that technology
wouldn't be abused any further by these two, he came up with a device that was
small, handy and helped change channels in a jiffy. Now, the chances of the man
and his wife fighting were remote and the device would give them complete
control over the TV. And so, he aptly named it the ‘remote control’. ‘At last,’
he heaved a sigh of relief, ‘this will ensure that they will not quarrel any
longer.’ <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
What happened next is history.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-32575663096563592992014-03-22T10:00:00.000+05:302014-03-22T10:00:36.827+05:30Till a bug do us part…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The good news was that
man had created a super-smart robot. The bad news was that he wanted to settle
down with it. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There comes in the life of every man a special moment when
he is figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the temptation to do
something very foolish. Unfortunately for him, that moment doesn't pass off as
a whim because technology's around to make it a reality. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was during one such moment that man stepped into his man
cave and questioned why he should live with a woman when he could live in the
company of a robot. The latest technology had made it possible to create robots
that could make man love them – without putting him through the misery of
showering them with expensive gifts, flowers or chocolates. In a revolutionary
move that swapped artificial intelligence with emotional intelligence, these
robots were equipped with software that would transform them into objects of
empathy. They would also be programmed to display social etiquette, the most
important of which was never to interrupt when man was speaking. Not
surprisingly, he fell for 'it', hook, line and sinker.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Autonomous robots - programmed with advanced self-guiding navigation
features and the latest in mobility technology - had also been created, so man
didn't have to stick around to instruct his personal bot. It was linked to a
remote server through Wi-Fi and hence could access any information it needed to
make a decision. That meant it wouldn’t stand around asking him what it should
wear and then shoot down all his suggestions. It was also equipped with sophisticated
thermal sensors and laser range finders that enabled it to find its way around
without bumping into people or objects, so he would never have to accompany it for
shopping.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a related development, man used modular robotics to
design a robot made of cubes that could self-assemble in a jiffy, thereby
putting an end to the tragedy of waiting forever for his partner to get ready. Most
importantly, robots could now keep secrets, thanks to some advanced level
programming which made hacking and accessing information stored in the robot
virtually impossible. And they would never ever reveal the identity of the person
who had passed on any vital information to them. It obviously came as a big
relief for man as now, his darkest secrets would never be traded for brownie
points in kitty parties.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For a while, life was good. But then, trouble began when the
robot developed self-awareness. It began to recognise itself when it passed a
mirror - and suddenly, its pace of work and efficiency dropped as it began to operate
in slow motion, or worse, come to a complete halt, whenever it approached a polished
surface.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To distract it from the self-obsession mode, man created a
cloud-based world wide web - RoboEarth, comprising a large network powered by a
massive database - especially for robots. However, that turned out to be a
disaster too because robots memorized his credit card details and splurged so
much online that he was forced to shut down the web. Besides, they were forming
their own web-based groups and were swapping stories about how their men were
treating them. And relfies - robot selfies - were flooding the major social
networking sites, making man sick of the grinning mugshots of metal heads that
seemed to have become omnipresent. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last straw came when a robot, apparently frustrated at
having to do so much of cleaning, sorting and other mundane household work day
after day, killed itself by climbing onto a hotplate and turning it on. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was when man realised that having a woman in his life
was so much better. He would now do whatever it took to get her back, if it
meant grovelling on his knees and asking her to come back to him, so they could
get married and live happily ever after. And that was how the practice of men
going down on their knees to propose to a woman began.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-70723152350626101042014-03-08T09:20:00.000+05:302014-03-08T09:20:28.505+05:30Don’t look, my password’s changing <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It was the most
ferocious battle ever witnessed between man and machine - and it was over a
password.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Oscar night was over, but Hollywood was cloaked in
gloom. Not because Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t win, but because the silver
screen’s biggest money-spinning fantasy ever – of machines taking over the
earth – had now become reality, thanks to technology.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The mobile-friendly grill had been invented and was touted
as the best thing since reality cooking shows. The grill was an expert cook
itself, and virtually took over the cooking process, to the point of
instructing humans as to how to go about it. Then came mattresses to sleep on,
equipped with artificial intelligence and sensors. They could track the various
body functions of the sleeper and send a report to his mobile or computer. They
were also smart enough to adjust themselves, to facilitate better sleep or
offer a body massage. Even the toothbrush became smart and could be controlled through
an app via Bluetooth (no word play here). It could measure various parameters
inside one’s mouth, from the average duration brushed, to the teeth that were desperately
gnawing for attention.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The smart devices then launched a massive recruitment drive
- by hacking every other gadget in sight, including smart TVs and
refrigerators. The ultimate objective was to rule over mankind. "This will
be our brush with destiny," said the toothbrush excitedly. "All we
need to do is steal their passwords, and we will have total control over them.
The human race cannot survive without checking its mail or Facebook account,
even for an hour."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Soon databases of leading service providers were hacked. Adobe
lost around 150 million user passwords, Twitter had over 55,000 passwords
leaked online and LinkedIn lost almost 6.5 million passwords to the hackers. One
of the most shocking revelations that came out during this hackathon was man’s choice
of passwords. "Can you imagine 123456 being the most commonly used
password?" asked the mattress. "What about passwords like qwerty,
111111 and 'iloveyou'?" asked the TV. "Just when one thought they had
evolved from having 'password' as their password... And they call me the idiot
box."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meanwhile, man planned to combat this threat innovatively,
using geographical passwords. The password would incorporate key information
about the physical location of a user, like altitudes, latitudes and
longitudes, and mix them up with random characters. This posed two serious
problems. Now, not only were their passwords being stolen, but their location
was also being given away. And two, they had to disclose their password when reporting
it stolen, and since most men lied about where they were to their wife or
girlfriend - sometimes both - they ended up revealing their real location,
which led to a host of other problems.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next innovation was a password revolution called Gotcha,
which converted a password into a series of inkblots of varied colours. A
descriptive term would be assigned by the user to each of these inkblots and
the next time he logged in, he would have to match each inkblot with the right word
for successful entry. However, when users began to call helpline to complain that
the cursor was leaking and that their computer screens were getting smudged with
ink, man had to look for an alternate way to beat the bots. Finally, he decided
to unleash his ultimate weapon - the body odour password. This required sensors
with biometric capabilities that would correctly identify a user's body odour
and give him access to the system. For a brief while, the devices were stumped.
Earlier, they couldn’t go anywhere near the users because of their body odour –
now, they couldn’t go anywhere near their devices either, because they were
clueless as to what the password was.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The smart machines then did a smart thing - they appointed a
consultant, an old computer that had been retired from a leading FMCG company. The
experienced machine gave them a whiff of an idea to neutralise all types of
body odour and thus nullify all odour passwords. And that was how the deodorant
came into being.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-18539238939589702472014-02-22T08:47:00.000+05:302014-02-23T08:52:45.334+05:30Proof that revenge sucks<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Success may have
different hues, but when it comes to varying tastes, there's nothing like revenge. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The dreaded underworld from the cyberworld was in session.
This was a splinter group that called itself Cosa Moustra (loosely translated
into ‘The mouse's thing’) and was actively involved in hold-ups along the
information highway and extortion through ingenious means. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The group had a simple modus operandi - to infiltrate laptops
and PCs belonging to the rich. (How did they figure that out? Simple, they just
went for computers that had a lot of cache.) The idea was to secretly smuggle
in malware called ransomware into the PC. And the malware would take over from
there. For starters, it would lock the machine and make all the files and
content of the hard disk inaccessible, by encrypting them and rendering them
unreadable. And the only way the user could unlock the machine and retrieve his
files would be by paying a ransom. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So they found the right guy for it - a cricketer whose IPL
contract was stuck in his laptop. The good news was that he was going to get
paid Rs. 10,00,00,000. And the bad news was that if he didn't sign his contract
and send it on time, he would be watching the entire IPL season on TV. But he
had only himself to blame - he had received another mail with the subject, 'Find
out how you can make Rs. 11,00,00,000'. Thinking that it was a bidding war from
a rival team, he clicked open the mail and its attachment eagerly, only to
realise that he had inadvertently let in the ransomware. Soon there was a
pop-up: 'You have the money. We have your files. Exchange?'<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Time was of essence - the ransomware had a timer, so if he
didn't act fast, his laptop, his IPL contract and the big bucks would all go up
in smoke. The cricketer was stuck. He thought he had struck a purple patch, but
now his laptop needed a patch to remove the malware. But it wasn't that easy -
if he tried to mess with the ransomware, it would lead to him losing his files.
If he tried to format his hard disk, he would still end up losing his files. ‘A
bit like facing Dale Steyn from one end and Mitchell Johnson from the other,’
he sighed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even the computer experts were helpless. "We aren't
able to trace the mail," they told him. "The ransomware has taken
over the boot up process of the machine and after making sure that it’s on a
firm wicket, is now toying with you. Er, how did it know that you are an Indian
medium pacer?" The cricketer remained defiant. "I shall not
pay," he insisted. He received another mail. 'A cyber supari has been
announced to defame you. If you don't pay, you won’t play – instead, a
purported sting operation of you agreeing to fix matches will be played
online.' <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The cricketer was now desperate. "What do I do
now?" he asked his actress girlfriend. "They sent you a cyber supari.
You send them a cyber lollipop," she said. "That would be the
ultimate revenge." "What’s that?" he asked incredulously. She
put on her geek glasses and began. “It’s an electronic device which, when
placed on the tongue, can simulate any taste - sweet, sour, bitter or salt. A
series of electrical and thermal stimulations are delivered through the device
to the tip of the tongue and hence create the sensation of taste. The system
alters the various properties of alternating current and creates suitable
stimuli." "So how would that be revenge?" the cricketer asked. "You
know how power fluctuations are in our part of the world. The minute they keep
the device on their tongue, it will suffer a short-circuit - you can imagine
the rest."<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“And why is it the ultimate revenge?” he persisted. “When
the electrode is placed on the tongue, it would feel pretty cold,” she smiled. “Remember
what the Godfather said? Revenge is a dish that tastes best when served cold.”<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-48548736644234172912014-02-08T08:58:00.000+05:302014-02-08T09:00:38.268+05:30Battling the biggies…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It was a battle more
one-sided than Rambo against the entire Afghan army when lesser mortals took on
social media giants.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Times Square was fast filling up. The private detectives of
the world were up in arms. As they looked to fill the place up, they realised
that it was already occupied by a zillion news channels. “Covering our
protests?” they asked curiously. “No way, we are also protesting," claimed
the channels. “Ever since Facebook became the most preferred source of news, so
no one's watching us.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It's really frustrating to struggle hard and come up with ‘breaking
news’, only to realize that 600 million people already know about it, have
liked it and have forwarded it to the remaining 600 million Facebook users,”
grumbled a grizzled channel veteran. “That's right,” spoke up the bespectacled
gentleman to his right. “Why is a calamity of this magnitude going unheard? The
nation wants to know.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But how did they manage that?” asked a detective. “Because,”
an otherwise aggressive news anchor sobbed, “research has revealed that people
just can't help being addicted to Facebook. Apparently it's hardwired into
their brain, somewhere in the nucleus accumbens - that's the part of the brain
that handles the key portfolios of rewards and ego massage. So some scientists subjected
a user's brain to functional magnetic resonance imaging and guess what they
found? Facebook’s ‘like’ symbol was embedded all over his brain.” “Seriously?”
asked the sleuth. The anchor sighed. “Not quite, but almost.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“And why are you guys protesting?” asked the news anchor to
the investigators. “Apparently, a person's Twitter trail reveals his locations
- each time he sends a tweet, his whereabouts are also revealed,” said a
private eye. “It’s not just that,” wailed another detective, “the user's time
zone, his language and even the street that he's walking through can be identified
based on his tweets. In other words, we’re history.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another news anchor specialising in covering protests dismissed
the complaint. “There are rumours that even games like Angry Birds and other
apps are being used to glean crucial information on a host of topics, from
location to personal preferences of the user. It’s elementary to tap into the
settings of a phone and once that’s done, everything from its browsing history
and downloads, to the services opted for and other details can be unearthed. So
why are you cribbing about Twitter?”<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But they are giving Facebook a run for their money when it
comes to being the most sought-after messaging service for news on mobile
devices," pleaded a detective. “Can’t they help us?” The guys at Twitter were
mighty pleased with that. “Don’t worry,” they assured the detectives, “starting
today, lurkers and creepy followers can all be blocked from viewing your posts.
So, not everyone will be privy to the information about users.” With that,
Twitter brought back the blocking feature to pacify the detectives, just hours
after they had removed it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seeing this, the news channels were encouraged. “If people
continue to catch up on news from Faceook, what'll happen to us? Just do
something,” they told Mark from Facebook. “No way,” he replied. “In that case,
we will be forced to retaliate,” warned the news channels. “We have unearthed a
new app, appropriately titled the 'Facebook Time Machine’.” “And what does it
do?” Mark yawned. “It helps calculate the time one has spent on Facebook ever
since one registered, and reveals numbers right down to the last minute. It zips
through a user’s account and, based on his updates and posts, will tell him how
much time he has wasted on social media when he was supposed to be busy at work.
Can you imagine what will happen if his boss gets to see it? The Facebook
user’s life will be ‘all like, no hike’ from thereon. But we don't want things
to come to this. So why don't you have some sympathy for us and do something
about it?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That can be done at the touch of a button,” Mark smiled. And
that was how Facebook began developing a ‘sympathise’ button.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-39331533617323595222014-01-25T10:45:00.000+05:302014-01-25T10:45:46.499+05:30Strictly come invisible<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The world’s first
‘fantasy-reality’ show began with the search for that which couldn’t be seen –
an invisibility cloak.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first entry almost went unnoticed. It was an
invisibility cloak made of metascreen - ultra-thin copper tape affixed to
equally thin polycarbonate film. The cloak desisted from reflecting any kind of
waves and hence, the presence of an object behind it could never be felt.
Besides, little antennae on the cloak ensured that no radar could detect what
was being concealed, so a 3-dimensional object could be made absolutely
invisible from any angle. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next came a Canadian company that based its invisibility
cloak on Quantum Stealth technology, with which it could clothe an entire army.
Now, soldiers could strike fearlessly in broad daylight without any fear of
being seen or detected. The material made rays of light bend around the object
instead of deflecting off it and could operate in any frequency. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The doll maker came up with a battery-operated invisibility
cloak. The concept of drawing from an external energy source helped - the
metasurface was fitted with strategically positioned amplifiers that drew
energy from the battery, thus making the cloak effective across a broader
frequency spectrum and suppressing visibility in varied conditions. (On a
tangential note, the fact that it is battery-operated has caught the fancy of a
few Asian countries that are currently trying to mass-produce it at a much
cheaper cost and flood the Indian market.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The IT guy entered the contest with a cloak that was also an
analog computer, capable of performing complex calculations. (All these years,
you needed a screensaver to hide your chat windows when the boss came around,
but now, you could hide the entire computer by making it invisible.) However, it
is not yet known if you can do status updates on Facebook using the
cloak-computer, but you can sure get your integration and differentiation
problems solved by it. How? The IT whiz threw light on the subject by explaining
how the computer used light waves to create graph-like curves in space that determined
various calculus functions, while the cloak modified the characteristics of the
light waves to turn an object invisible.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A printer came next and demonstrated a simple way to
construct an invisibility cloak – just print it using a 3D printer. (So how does
one find out if the print out has arrived? We’ll leave the judges to deal with
it.) The cloak had perforations based on a specific algorithm that enabled it
to deflect microwaves, and was creating using stereolithographic technology - layers
of polymer plastic were added one over the other, carefully leaving out the
holes and perforations as dictated by the algorithm, until the cloak was, er,
invisible.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A tailor came up with his own idea - and created an
invisibility cloak using gold-coated silk thread. However, like Krypton for
Superman and the heel for Achilles, the cloak had a weak link - it could
function only at terahertz frequencies. It had already been tested on an
emperor and barring a little boy, no one could see through it. This inference
led to another glaring loophole - the invisibility cloak did not work on children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next was a cook. “If I can make noodles in 2 minutes, I can make
an invisibility cloak just as fast,” he boasted. He removed the layer of Teflon
from his saucepan and used it to make a cloak in just 15 minutes, using a
process called topology optimization. "I just used advanced computer
software and the algorithm did the rest," he explained nonchalantly.
Teflon proved to be an excellent alternative to any metamaterial, according to
him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finally, a college kid came on the show. "15 minutes?
Nonsense, I can tell you how to become invisible in 3 seconds flat." The judges
looked at him, awestruck. "Oh it's
simple," he continued. "To become invisible, all you need to do is
stop talking." "I don't understand," a judge blurted out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
"We do it all the time in social media. Just turn off
the chat feature - you'll become invisible."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-58317159606291990252014-01-11T16:10:00.002+05:302014-01-11T16:10:41.488+05:30The message that went poof!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Alcohol fumes. Binary
code. Computers that identify liars. Welcome to the ABC of communication...<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The queues at the hospitals and dispensaries were unending.
The morgue was contemplating two-seater accommodation to fit in all the new
arrivals. Classes that taught breathing techniques were huffing and puffing,
trying to control the crowds.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reason was simple - email apnoea. In other words, people
simply forgot to breathe when they were keying in emails. The mother of all
apnoeas – sleep apnoea – helps strangle the body's oxygen supply so that it can
come out of its restful state and fight any imminent danger. But why email
apnoea? Was it technology's way of getting you out of your reverie so that you
didn't send any objectionable mail that you subconsciously typed - much like Gmail's
math problem that you needed to solve to prove that you were not drunk when
sending that late night mail?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, was it better to hyperventilate than to vent online? This
question led the social activists - fighting for human rights - and the social
media activists, who demanded a better communication system, to protest, claiming
that e-mail was killing people. Soon the hunt for an alternate mode of staying
in touch took epic proportions. Then came the nerds. "Why can't we simply
stick to SMS, IM or social media?" they demanded. "Aren't these the
most common communication platforms today?" The geeks however, outsmarted
them with a new research, stating that a computer had figured out how to spot a
liar through digital messages - he was the one who was taking longer than the
rest to respond.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Since most users assume an alternate identity or create a
fake profile, it's very easy to be misled - that makes it imperative to come up
with a better system,” they claimed. As soon as the research emerged, the
deceptive kinds joined in the search as well, as they didn't want to be
identified and thereby lose their edge in life. (“Apparently, 54% of all lies can
be detected by humans, but what's to tell how long we can be safe in that 46%
zone?”)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finally, two researchers decided to drown their sorrows in
vodka - and in a flash, figured out that they could use the spirit to send text
messages. (Nope, they were not drunk.) It was a case of sending the message in
spurts and demodulating the same at the other end. Alcohol molecules were sent
across a distance in binary code, so their presence would indicate ‘one’ and
their absence, zero. In scientific terms, it was the world's first text message
created and transmitted using molecular communication, but in pure tech terms,
it was a vodka-soaked sms, which was much to cheer about.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Big deal! We've always been obsessed about the birds
and the bees, so what's different now?" claimed the critics. Apparently,
certain species of seabirds and bees had also been using similar communication
techniques. Besides, the concept of sending alcohol vapours in spurts to communicate
a message was a lot like the smoke signals used by Red Indians, which enabled
them to make a point even across large distances.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Something new had to be done. It looked like technology was
not really on the money when it came to facilitating effective communication.
The new system had to be robust, be free of any health hazard, not involve
alcoholic spirits (why waste good liquor?) and shouldn't have been practised by
birds and animals before.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finally a little boy spotted an empty bottle rolling around
aimlessly. It was the same one that had held the vodka used for the text
message experiment. 'Perhaps this will help,' thought the boy as he wrote a little
note, asking the recipient of the message to suggest a new way of
communication. He then rolled the note, shoved it into the bottle, closed it
and threw it into the sea. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that is how the ‘message in a bottle’ came to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-66876347639945675002013-12-28T12:08:00.002+05:302013-12-28T12:08:34.007+05:30When technology gets Scrooged…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>When the world’s most
miserly duck becomes a tech fan and kind-hearted at the same time, you know
what to expect. Or do you?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Nothing like amortizing one gift across two occasions,’ Scrooge
McDuck told himself as he decided to give away gifts to his great-nephews on
the 28<sup>th</sup> of December, right in between Christmas and New Year. “Bah,
kids these days! They seem to want some gizmo or the other…dratted technology!”
he muttered as he began writing notes to accompany each of the gifts. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To Huey, who constantly loses his way in life, I gift Skully
Helmet, a helmet that will not only show him the way, but will also provide regular
weather updates. The helmet is powered by Android (Android - Google - searching
for directions... got it?) and is Bluetooth-enabled, so you can access maps and
driving directions on the move. And you don't have to endanger yourself by
speaking on your mobile while riding your bike - this helmet can keep you connected
to your network. (Life has always been a hands-free experience for you, the only
difference being that you can now keep your hands on the handlebar and let go
of the mobile.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There's even a little display in front of you that will show
you route maps and other details you might need to know. And you've always
grumbled to me that you don't have eyes on the back of your head - this helmet
will rectify that, via a rear-view camera that will give you a 180-degree view
of all that's happening behind you as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And don't worry about someone swiping the helmet from your
bike when you've parked it outside, because the helmet has voice recognition
features. I’m delighted that you’ll finally have a head that will be equally alert
to an upcoming bend, an incoming message and impending rains. And yes, when
you're listening to music, it'll also notify you what’s next, so if it’s Justin
Bieber, you can skip or repeat, depending on whichever side of the bed you got
out of. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To Dewey - since your name has been used everywhere from a
Lemony Snicket novel to the Scream movie series, I’m sure that you’re suffering
from an identity crisis. It calls for a doctor, but you know that I’ll never
pay for one, so I herewith gift you a headset that helps monitor health. It
also plays music, can be used as a training device and helps record various
vital stats - from heart beat to calories used up. (A sensor module fitted in
it helps track such information.) It also helps track your speed and distance
covered when you're exercising. (How? Infrared light, accelerometer and all
that jazz.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for its accuracy, don't doubt it, it's as good as an ECG
machine or a heart rate monitor. Since it’s based on the latest sensor
technology, it can also be hooked up to your smartphone - and there's an app
(for both iOS and Android) that takes care of the rest. Whew, that’s fitness,
training, music and health, all combined into one. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To Louie, ever since you heard the hit single ‘Brother
Louie’ by Modern Talking and by Hot Chocolate, you’re constantly on your mobile
(modern talking?) and have become hooked on to cooking. So I gift you a Smart
Kettle. It's Wi-Fi enabled, so you can be anywhere in the house and still
control the kettle with the help of an app. Imagine being woken up in the
morning by your smartphone and being asked if you need to switch the smart
kettle on. How about that? There are four different temperature settings and a
host of other hi-tech features, so the kettle can even be programmed to keep
the tea warm until you’re ready to have it, whenever that might be. (And you'll
get a text from the kettle when the water's on the boil.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hope I don’t get bothered for an entire year now. And oh,
have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-16855552714492138532013-12-14T12:18:00.002+05:302013-12-14T12:18:06.126+05:30The eighth deadly sin<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>A man and his friend
are deep in discussion about the one mistake he should never have made. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: I’ve done the unthinkable… And now, I need to make up
with my wife. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: Why don’t you gift her a 5-carat diamond, princess
cut? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: No, I need something better - she loves technology, so…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: How about a foldable car? It is eco-friendly, runs
on electric charge, saves space and is very convenient to park - you can
actually fold it in half... <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: Sounds good, but...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: Wait, here's the best part… You can download an app
onto your smartphone – and it magically transforms into a remote control that
helps you park the car. You can also use it to spin the car a full circle,
reverse it and park it into the narrowest of parking spaces available...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: What's it called?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: The car? It’s called Armadillo-T and is named after
the Armadillo which rolls itself into its shell when enemies approach... There
are also smart features - like cameras inside the car instead of side view
mirrors – to give you a clear view of the traffic around you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: No mirrors? Sorry, my wife will simply refuse to drive
a car in which she can’t check her make-up at traffic signals...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: How about a PC then?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: What's new about that? She already has a laptop, a
tablet, and a...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: This is a computer with common sense. It uses
artificial intelligence - it can think, identify common objects and link
related images on its own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: How does this happen?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: Through a program called NEIL - Never Ending Image
Learner. NEIL operates through certain principles of advanced computing, does
not require human intervention and is currently busy researching the web. The
programme has raced through over three million images, recognizing shapes,
colours, scenes and objects, and recording its observations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: I’ve already had problems with a Neil and I’m not sure if
I should... <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: In fact, NEIL will soon be checking out YouTube
videos and will absorb several image references from them. Just imagine, you won't
have to programme your PC to do anything - it can think on its own and decipher
how to do things... <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: No way - I can't have a device at home that can do something
that I can't.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: Ok, she won't be able to resist this - a cuddly robot
phone that can give her a hug...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: I just read an article about mobile phones becoming
larger in size - now, you're talking about one that's a six-footer and hugs
people? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: No, this one is shaped like a stuffed pillow and is
more like a soft toy - it's called Hugvie...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: But why should we have a phone hugging us? It's already
warming a side of our face...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: Hugvie has a pocket into which you can slip your
mobile phone. There are microcontrollers and vibrators located inside the robot
that can simulate human heartbeats based on the tone of voice of the caller.
So, when you're talking to someone, you get a more personalised feeling – the
feeling of having someone hug you even as you feel their heartbeat against
you... <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: Can you imagine the situation when I get back home and
find my wife talking to a robot, feeling its heartbeat and hugging it? One of
us will certainly need to see a shrink...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: But what's the occasion? Did you miss wishing your
wife on your wedding anniversary?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: Of course not! I wished her first thing in the morning,
sent her flowers from my office, took her out to a candle light dinner the
previous night, bought her a diamond ring and a little puppy...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friend: Wow, so what’s the problem?<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man: You see, I didn't wish her on Facebook. She has 937
friends and now, she is dreading to log in because she wonders how they’ll
react to this catastrophe. Apparently they’ll think that our marriage is coming
apart and that I don't love her enough... <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-7814020614393232792013-11-30T10:21:00.002+05:302013-11-30T10:21:45.408+05:30Shaken, stirred - and woken up<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Once in an eon, Bond
tries to stay abreast of technology. And this is what happens…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bond threw his empty glass in disgust. Skyfall was a hit,
but his life appeared to be in free fall now. He had a new boss as M and what
made it worse was that it was someone who had previously aspired to become Bond
himself. Then they got a kid to play Q and he was running circles around Bond when
it came to handling computerized gizmos. And now, his devices were all being
made available to the common man.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Firstly, the latest technology - named Starchase - had
facilitated the creation of a new GPS bullet that made police chases a lot
easier. It could be activated at the press of a button from a car and would attach
itself to the suspect’s car. Once that happened, the whereabouts of the rogue
vehicle could easily be tracked on a monitor. Then, a bulletproof suit that
made use of lightweight carbon nanotube technology was created, thereby making
the three-piece suit resistant to bullets and knives. Fabric created by using
long, thin, lightweight carbon nanotubes was inserted into the suit and
rendered it bullet-proof. Plus, the suit looked stylish and wasn't the least
bit bulky or inflexible. If the man on the street had access to all of this,
wouldn't Bond's USP be compromised? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His request to Q was simple. "Give me toys that'll keep
me ahead of the pack." Q nodded and opened a safe. "Here's an
alarm..." he began when Bond interrupted. “Will it blow up when someone
comes to kill me?" Q sighed. "No, it's an alarm app that will not go
off until you get out of bed and shake your phone relentlessly. It has no shut
off or snooze buttons, and there is no volume control, so it is always irritatingly
loud. Basically, it has a shake meter that has to be filled up by shaking the phone
- and until that happens, the alarm won't stop. Isn't that an ingenious way of
waking someone up?" "I always believed that the phrase 'shaken, not
stirred' was used to describe something else," said Bond dryly. "It's
available on both the iPhone and Android..." Q continued, but Bond was not
impressed. "Listen," Q persisted, "that was the Wake n Shake
app, but there's also the Walk Up! app which won't go off until you've woken up
and walked a few steps..." He stopped when Bond glared at him. "What's
the matter?" 007 demanded. "Someone's been telling you that I spend
too much time in bed?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Ok," Q changed the topic and pulled out a
t-shirt. "How about this..." "Hey, a t-shirt that makes me
invisible?" Bond asked excitedly. "No," Q hesitated, "it
can wash itself." Bond stared at him, his right eyebrow merging with his scalp.
"What'll I do with that?" "Look Bond, imagine chasing villains
all day, getting yourself all dirty and then having to go on a date - nothing
like having a t-shirt that can clean itself, right?" Q explained. "But
how does this work?" Bond was curious. "Oh, it's just a bit of
nanoscience, a fabric material and some detergent coming together," said Q
nonchalantly. "The printing ink in the t-shirt has a specific amount of
detergent in it, so when the t-shirt is dipped in water, the soapy solution
that is formed cleans the t-shirt. And if you're stuck in an Indian city with
water shortage, there's another option - a t-shirt using titanium dioxide, so
the minute you expose it to sunlight, the t-shirt will clean itself."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bond shook his head. "But how on earth am I supposed to
wear a t-shirt over my tuxedo?" Q shot back, "Well, if Superman can
wear his briefs over his tights..." <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He didn't see Bond's fist coming and everything went dark. But
Q was satisfied. He couldn't make 007 fly like Superman - at least he could make
him dress like the Man of Steel.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-56814093802100873552013-11-16T12:28:00.000+05:302013-11-16T12:28:30.648+05:30Fighting DNA, fleeing wallet <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>A tale of technology
that began with a mix-up and ended in uncertainty.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The DNA Cloning Center was in a state of turmoil. Someone
had switched the DNA samples of Charles Darwin and Charles Babbage years ago
and it had just come to light. ("How do I know? The samples were marked
Charles B and Charles D and when R&D called for Charles B, I heard it as
Charles D… Or was it the other way around?") <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Interestingly, what this switch had accidentally created was
a future generation of cross-bred clones - technologists with a keen interest
in evolution. And that's the reason why, ever since, the tech world has seen a
race for the survival of the fittest, best explained by the following famous
quote - "Every morning in Cyberia, a mobile phone is switched on. It knows
it must outperform the fastest Google Glass or it will be killed. Every morning
in Cyberia, a Google Glass is picked up. It knows it must run apps faster than
the slowest mobile, or it will lose. It doesn't matter whether you're a mobile
or a pair of glasses - when Apple comes up with its next product, you'd better
be running." <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, with different groups keenly contesting this race,
there were side-effects that had to be borne by the common man. For instance, heat
transfer principles and a unique ‘Spin Chill’ technology had resulted in a
portable device that could chill a drink in half a minute, but mankind, on an
average, spent 130 hours or over five days a year waiting for computers to load
a program, application or file. In other words, all the time saved in chilling
a drink was spent waiting for a computer to get warmed up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even the world of finance fell prey to this bizarre
phenomenon. On one hand, tech whizzes had come up with software that could
predict where a burglary was most likely to occur next. The program could study
crime patterns and relevant data collected over the past decade, sweep hot
spots and come up with calculated predictions about the next criminal activity
likely to occur in a neighbourhood. Using this, they could bring down the crime
rates in residential localities to a reasonable extent. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, another set of scientists had come up with an
equally revolutionary invention - a wallet that runs away when it feels that
its owner is spending excessively. Working in tandem with a book-keeping app
named Zaim, the wallet, if forcibly picked up by the owner and opened, even
screams for help. If the owner persists and takes money out of it, the wallet
resorts to its ultimate weapon – it sends a mail to the wallet owner’s mother. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, everything would have been fine if only the two
inventions had chosen to co-exist peacefully. But since that goes against the
grain when it comes to the theory of evolution and survival of the fittest, one
had to cannibalise the other. As a result, the wallet that ran away sometimes
lost its way and thus became a prime target for thieves. So, the program that
predicted the next burglary would inadvertently also predict the exact location
of the wallet (if it was the wallet that was being stolen). Conversely, if the
location of the runaway wallet was found, it would make it easier for someone
to steal it, thereby leading to a burglary - which was already predicted by the
software. This was now getting complicated. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The situation was best summed up by a geek. "The
process of predicting a burglary that involves a wallet would lead to the owner
holding on to it and possibly spending more, which would lead to the wallet
running away. But locating the wallet would give away its coordinates, which
would lead to it being stolen." A young physicist who heard it took notes
furiously and surreptitiously. ‘Ah, the uncertainty of it all… This could do
wonders in quantum mechanics,’ he muttered to himself as he rushed to the lab. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next morning, the world was introduced to Heisenberg’s
Uncertainty Principle. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-83287926154575441562013-11-02T09:30:00.000+05:302013-11-03T18:56:24.047+05:30So what’s your dress saying?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>There are some who are
weary of technology, but there are those who simply wear technology…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tulip turned towards the tailor, her pretty face showing the
merest hint of annoyance. How dare he ridicule her request for a dress in which
the pocket could accommodate a TV? "32 or 40 inches," he had smirked.
Well, she would not give him an inch on this debate. But it set her thinking. She
couldn’t fit an electronic device into her dress pocket. But what if the dress
became the device by itself? If only she could weave technology into her
clothes, it would not leave the tailor in stitches.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She had just read about socially active undergarments for
women that tweeted when they were unclasped. Though it was for a good cause -
to promote breast cancer awareness - Tulip realised that she needed to come up
with something more conservative. In 2010, a 'Twitter dress' had already been
worn by a Grammy winner, displaying images tweeted by fans. It became such a sensation
that a year later, Microsoft came up with their version of a Twitter dress as
well. Called the Printing Dress, the apparel, primarily made of paper, doubled
as a Twitter screen, displaying tweets as fast as they were churned out.But
then, how could a dress made out of paper be adopted by technology? Wasn't it
too old-world? To prove this point, an artist had come up with her own version
of a paper dress - only, this was made out of the pages of a telephone
directory.The dress was not only considered haute-couture, but also exotic -
after all, when was the last time anyone had come across a telephone directory?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is not known whether the artist had planned a summer
collection - a bright sunshine yellow range of apparel using Yellow Pages, but
another printed revolution came along to transform the world of fashion. It was
the world’s first 3D-printed bikini, called the N12 bikini, which could be
printed out on a material called nylon 12, or N12. All one needed to do was
feed their drawing into the computer and the 3D CAD software would print it out
as a bikini. Suddenly, shopping online for swimwear had become passé - the new
trend was to just pull it out of a printer at home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, the accessories to go with such apparel - like
Galaxy Gear, the smart watch by Samsung, and Google Glass - had already been
launched. And those who chose to synchronise their dress with a hoodie could
opt for Ping, which operated through gesture recognition and facilitated
Facebook updates on the fly (er, on the go). Women could go for the M-Dress,
which not only made for a smashing ‘little black dress’ for the cocktail
circuit, but also doubled as an attractive mobile phone, with a cleverly
designed slot for the SIM Card. (However, since it’s both a phone and a frock,
the jury is still out on whether it is a phrock or a frone.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though it might look a little incongruous, an ensemble
featuring the M-Dress, the Ping and the Galaxy Gear can take care of all of one’s
communication needs. For those in the rebellious, maverick mode, Nokia's tattoos
could complete the look for a great Friday night. The tattoos vibrate when
there's an incoming call or a message on one's Nokia mobile, so someone shaking
hands with you could be at the receiving end of a mild tremor while you are at
the receiving end of a call.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tulip had seen enough. She had a killer idea - a kerchief
that would also be a TV and would play soaps in 15 languages from all the
leading channels. 'And after watching their favourite serials, viewers can use
the kerchief to wipe away their tears,' she thought excitedly. ‘I just can’t
wait to see the look on that tailor’s face when I ask him to stitch a dress
that can accommodate my TV.' <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-34261518584342323672013-10-19T12:30:00.004+05:302013-10-19T12:30:24.436+05:30Meet the Avengers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>A stunning exposé on
the Avengers story that reveals how it all began as a technology project... <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nick Fury was just a nanosecond away from winning the game
on his motion-controlled console when a holographic message popped up in thin
air, filling the room with glowing letters and startling him. 'Go for SHIELD'
it said. In an instant, it dawned on him - S.H.I.E.L.D, or Strategic Hazard
Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate. It was now up to him to bring
together all the members and get the team ready for action.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nick would have loved to try out the Xbox, but an ambush
marketing clause forbade him from trying out anything prefixed with X as
another legion of superheroes had appropriated it. Suddenly a news item popped up
on his crystal cube. A car had sprayed an invisible liquid called SmartWater -
an odourless chemical with long-lasting effects - on a thief who stole a laptop
and other items from it. And when he was exposed to ultraviolet light, he
turned green under the glow. "I've found my Hulk," Nick whooped. But ‘Hulk
becomes eco-friendly under UV light’ sounded wimpish - it had to be more
dramatic. 'Hulk turns green when he gets outrageously angry' would be a more exciting
way of putting it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nick then opened Google to further his search. A news item
about the search engine giant caught his eye. In the mid-80s, Hewlett Packard
had developed proprietary software which would serve as an Optical Character Recognition
engine, but post-2006, Google had begun funding the project. The project’s name
made Nick sit up - it was Tesseract, considered by many as the source of
unlimited power! If he found the man behind Tesseract, he would find Captain
America, for it was he who had battled Hitler's armies to stop it from falling
into the wrong hands. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nick then checked out for the weekly leaks, more popularly
known as Wiki Leaks, to figure out if he could lay his hands on some
confidential information. He stumbled upon TALOS - Tactical Assault Light
Operator Suit, a miracle of modern technology that gave the US Army a suit that
was not only bulletproof, but could also heal wounds. Besides, it would fire
weapons, have GPS and contain magnetorheological fluids that would become solid
when they come in contact with electric and magnetic fields. And of course,
night vision, oxygen supply, temperature control and advanced communication
systems were part of standard equipment. 'Just add Augmented Reality or Google
Glass and this will give the wearer superhuman strength', Nick rubbed his hands
in glee. His Iron Man was ready for combat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hawk Eye was pulled out of a game of cricket and the Black
Widow, from an Animal Planet shoot. Now, Nick needed just one more member. He
didn't have to look too hard. A giant with long hair and a weird helmet strode
past, effortlessly carrying a hammer over his shoulder. "Are you after
Loki?" Nick asked eagerly. "No, I’m just part of a low-key
maintenance project, from the PWD," came the reply. "You'll do,"
said Nick excitedly. Thor was found and the entire team of S.H.I.E.L.D had been
assembled. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then came the second message. 'Check out Batman – Arkham
City’. Nick was stumped. He had just assembled the entire team and now they
wanted Batman? "How is he a part of S.H.I.E.L.D?” he vented his fury. "The
Nvidia Shield, you idiot,” came the response. “Since you were a gaming freak,
thought we’d suggest the Shield – a gaming device from Nvidia.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nick's face fell. Now what would he do with this team? He
went back to Google again. After some searching, he came across someone named
Stan Lee who was looking to create action comic books. He surveyed the battery
of technology that he had painstakingly put together. Would all of them now be
reduced to entertainment for kids? 'Is this what they mean when they say that
technology is for future generations?' he sighed and began writing a long mail
to Stan. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-27344658512456425132013-10-05T17:50:00.002+05:302013-10-05T17:50:30.840+05:30Who let the frog out?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The fascinating tale
of how an ancient Indian folklore changed the way NASA operated.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It's a grandma’s tale about Ram and Shyam that we are all so
familiar with. Ram was an honest, hard-working farmer while his neighbour Shyam
was a good-for-nothing type who would always laze around in his charpoy,
watching Ram toil hard in the fields. Ideally, this story should end with Ram
bringing home the fruits of his labour and Shyam cursing himself for having frittered
his time away. But that's where NASA stepped in - and the duo’s lives were
never the same again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
NASA put out an incredible, too-good-to-be-true offer on
various job portals – one that came with a pay of over $5000 a month to anyone
who could spend 70 days in bed. The idea was to study the effects of
microgravity on supine souls. During this time, the chosen candidates would be
allowed to do as they pleased – watch TV, surf the web, read books, play games
and even entertain visitors. They could have a bath in bed too. So, while Ram
was sweating it out in the fields, Shyam had quietly logged into a job site on
his smartphone and applied for the opening. NASA should have given him a wide
berth, but looking at his credentials, they gave him a wide bed instead and sent
him a terse message – ‘Houston calling Shyam, come in please!’ <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ram was shocked. The biggest loser could win only in a
reality show for weight loss. It couldn't happen in real life. What would
happen to all the moral science lessons in textbooks? What kind of values would
children grow up with? Who would extol the virtues of hard work? Ram had done all
the hard work – and now, he couldn’t end up becoming the laughing stock of the
village. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So he approached NASA and pleaded his case with them. After
much deliberation, NASA decided that there was only one way out. The astronauts
needed some fresh food that could be grown in space and consumed. Besides,
space expeditions were getting longer and it was getting increasingly difficult
to carry food for the trip. "What's the best crop to be grown this
season?" they asked him. "Lettuce," he replied. "So be
it," they said in unison and blasted him into outer space so that he could
do some space farming. And that was how Operation Veggie – a vegetable
production system that would facilitate nutritious salad crops for the space
travellers – began. The system would ensure that the plants were under a
constant stream of red and blue light so that they could carry out photosynthesis.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ram carried everything that he needed for the job - seeds,
sample plants, sacks of fertilisers, water hoses and even a tractor. Unfortunately,
he had a stowaway on deck. A frog that had gone MIA in a sack of fertiliser managed
to extricate itself and tried to jump ship just as the space shuttle was blasting
off. And that was the famous photo of the frog that was seen during the launch
of NASA’s LADEE (Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer) spacecraft at
the Wallops Flight Facility in Virginia.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The story ended with the rabbit on the moon becoming a space
raider and searching for lettuce patches in the Milky Way. The frog, after its
maiden space voyage, turned into a celebrity and is currently producing and
starring in cool Crazy Frog music videos. Ram and Shyam gave up farming and are
focusing on their current careers with NASA. However it was not a happy ending
for all. NASA, despite turning vegetarian and trying to grow couch potatoes and
lettuce, got into trouble with PETA for not having taken permission to send a
frog into outer space.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good Indian folktales always have a moral – this one has
two. For oldies, no matter what, technology always pays. And for youngsters, the
next time your folks curse you for goofing off, please let them know that
you're busy preparing for a career at NASA. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-24990531280314221062013-09-21T12:13:00.001+05:302013-09-21T12:13:18.303+05:30An apple goes to the disco…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>When the PC is
programmed to tell jokes, Apple has to do the exact opposite - like kick-start a
silent revolution.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s official – man goes into sleep mode without a computer
in his life. From doing his work for him, playing him music and keeping him
entertained, to helping him with his shopping, his finances, his banking and
his social life, the device has become indispensable to man. And it was this
realisation that set the stage for a milestone event. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Contrary to popular belief, the first digital revolution happened
when the computer replaced the dog as man's best friend. It could do everything
that its canine rival could do – it could roll over with a mouse over and play
dead. It could spin circles around him, get into an endless loop and drive him
mad. It could get totally bug-infected and yet not allow him to clean it up. It
could even fetch the e-newspaper every morning. And to top it all, there were
the unbelievable brownie points that it scored over the mutt. It didn’t have to
be let out every morning to do its thing. And it didn’t have to be neutered for
fear of little tablets running around the place.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But dogs can't tell jokes, while a computer can. To prove
this, a team of scientists from the University of Edinburgh decided to
programme a computer and make it a complete companion. (This is further proof
that man and his computer are mutually compatible - think back to the 90s when
there was this famous ‘Made for each other’ campaign featuring a couple where
the lady was reading out from the Official Polish Joke Book and regaling her
partner. Now, replace the duo with a man and his computer - there would no
longer be any need for the joke book. QED.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So the team wrote some cutting-edge software that made the
computer come up with funny one-liners, thus establishing the fact that
computers not only had a memory, but also a sense of humour. (It's a different
matter that the jokes were not appreciated by the target groups on which they
were tested, but it's just a matter of time before the project gets bought over
by Google and is revamped and launched as Giggle, the joke finder.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Interestingly, a major chunk of those who didn't enjoy the
jokes were Apple fans. It's difficult to find out if the Apple brigade didn't
find the jokes funny because they came from a PC or because they found them
tasteless. (“Offensive jokes from a PC? Why are we not surprised? It’s been a
long while since Windows shut the door on aesthetics.”) So, inspired by their
fans, Apple came up with the perfect response - total silence. While the PC was
making a noise about its new-found ability to create jokes, Apple quietly came
up with the silent disco app. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Silent disco’ works by synchronising music and songs
amongst a group of people who can listen to it on headphones or through their
personal devices. But Apple's new technology, referred to as the roving DJ,
uses the digital information of a song and matches it with all songs similar to
it, so each person can dance to his favourite song playing from his device
instead of everyone listening to the same song. There's more - the digital
network created amongst users can be accessed by Bluetooth and Wi-Fi, so a
party can happen across the city, with people listening in from wherever they
are. It would also be possible for people to take turns as DJs, just to ensure
that the same person does not end up choosing the songs to be played. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now, the battle lines are drawn and the jury is still
out on which of the two people would fancy more - walking their computer on a leash
or taking an apple to the disco. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-42563235123454814552013-09-07T10:01:00.000+05:302013-09-07T10:03:58.666+05:30Caught Adam, bowled Eve<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The fascinating story
of how the search for Adam and Eve led to the world's bitterest cricket
rivalry. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The tech world never had it so good. First came the revelation
that Adam and Eve didn’t live in the same era. Cutting-edge technology was used
to isolate and label several thousand mutations, through which genetic links
and the building blocks of the Y-chromosome were identified. A detailed
analysis of this Y-chromosome revealed that the two were strangers from different
time zones. Then came the voice of dissent, which was also supported by
technology. "While there's no proof of Adam and Eve having been married or
having officially registered their marriage, the possibility that they were
seeing each other is clearly brought out through carbon dating," claimed
the idealist. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The scientist scoffed. "The state-of-the-art imaging
technologies that we are using just can't be disputed. Besides our satellite
measurements, we also have incredible proof through LiDAR (Light Detection and
Ranging), an advanced aerial imaging technique, the results of which have helped
us locate the Garden of Eden. And there is no sign of either Eve or of Adam’s
missing rib."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"But what about the half-eaten apple thrown away by
Adam? It's the world's first piece of trash," said the idealist
emphatically. "We made use of ground-penetrating radar, Computed
Tomography (CT) scans and also plied robotic drones into the project, through
which we unearthed several middens – or old-world trash dumps. We then measured
the phosphorous levels in the soil, but," the scientist shook his head,
"our efforts didn’t bear fruit." The idealist decided to take on
another approach to prove his theory. "The Y chromosomes get passed down only
from father to son, so if Adam's gene pool contained mitochondrial genome, he
had to have gotten it from his mother – Sir, you need to be looking for a
mummy." And thus began the search for the world's first mummy. DNA
analysis, mass spectrometry, protein analysis and several other techniques were
employed to research the findings. "We need to stop here,” pleaded the
scientist. “Not until we dig up all of Eden and plough through every inch of ground.
Remember, only when we set sight on that mummy swathed in bandages shall we call
it a wrap,” the idealist said angrily. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So laser scanning reality capture methods were used to get
more details of the mummy. But the resultant 3D geometric mesh yielded nothing.
Finally, a group of British researchers decided to get to the bottom of it all
- and found out that the scientist had been looking in the wrong place all
along. Instead of trying to locate the Garden of Eden, he had accidentally dug
up Eden Gardens in Kolkata. However, two very interesting discoveries were
made. The first was an ancient scroll that contained undecipherable text. On
using Reflectance Transformation Imaging (RTI), the researchers realised that the
text had a curiously strange resemblance to something the cricketing world was
familiar with. One of the researchers – also a freelance member of the Barmy
Army – let out a whoop. “This is the origin of the Duckworth-Lewis formula
that’s being used to decide truncated one-day matches – no wonder it’s
undecipherable.” Besides, with the BCCI not yet under the RTI (Right To
Information) ambit, further attempts to decipher Duckworth-Lewis was
discouraged and the system was deemed fit to be followed worldwide. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The second discovery was even more significant - it was an
urn filled with <span lang="EN-US">M</span>ishti
Doi (a traditional Bengali dessert) that looked slightly burnt, with the word <i>aashun - </i>meaning 'come' in Bengali –
inscribed on it. It is not known whether it was a formal proposal from Adam, asking
for Eve’s hand in marriage or asking her to lend a hand for dinner, but in
their haste to take back a piece of Indian history – something they were really
good at – the team from UK took the urn back home, quickly changed <i>aashun</i> to the Ashes and taunted the
Aussies with the lure of sweet success. The rest, as they unfortunately say, is
history.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-45734189408837820552013-08-24T16:01:00.001+05:302013-08-24T16:01:23.216+05:30The Kleenex strikes back<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US">Television
finds itself threatened by an adversary with a much smaller screen - the mobile
phone.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The head honchos of several GECs (General
Entertainment Channels) got into a huddle with a bunch of techies. Things were
just getting worse for them - on one hand, their ad revenue was shrinking with
the cap on the advertising air time per hour. And on the other, people were
spending too much time on their mobiles. It was fine as long as it was
restricted to commercial breaks - there were so many of them. But now, with the
number of ads being drastically cut down, all their mobile activities were
happening during prime time television, when the soaps were on. Predictably,
TRPs began sliding.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">"I can't believe this. It should be ‘them’
who should be sitting in front of the idiot box with these boxes,” the head of
a regional GEC pointed to a box of Kleenex as he bawled into a fresh tissue. “Instead…”
he couldn’t continue any further. Another channel head was deep in thought.
"We need to do something about those mobiles...” He looked at the techies,
one of whom spoke up. "A London-based start-up has created a tracking
system that locates where the audience is and plays ads in their mobiles. We
can use it to play recaps of the earlier episodes of your soaps in 60 second
loops that will stop only when the viewers sit in front of the TV and take
their hands off the mobile." The channel heads were overjoyed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">When the viewing millions realised what was
happening, they were furious. "They didn't even seek our permission to
flood our mobiles with their content. We have to retaliate." They went to
the same set of techies who were only too happy to make more money. And they
came up with Off Pocket, a mobile case that was capable of blocking any signal
- cellular, Wi-Fi or GPS. "Slip your mobile into this and it will be
impossible for anyone to track it or send any reminders," they assured
them. The GECs were back to square one and went back to the techies, who were
ready with another solution.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">"Every mobile has an energy source
that emits radiation - we can use infrared sensors coupled with the latest
thermal cameras to locate these phones." 'Must be like the HotSpot
technology in cricket,' thought the executive from the GEC that showed a lot of
T20 as well. Soon the mobile phones couldn't stay hidden and the trackers were
back at work again, inundating each phone with hours of episodes and reminders,
until the bleary-eyed viewers couldn't take it anymore. They trudged back to
the techie team.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">"Not a problem," said the team
leader, "we have the perfect answer for that too. We'll make your mobiles
virtually unrecognizable and so small that no tracking system can locate
them." So they created tiny mobiles with ultra-strong
micro-supercapacitors that made SIM Cards look like visiting cards in
comparison. And with the supercapacitors being so light and flexible, the
mobile phones ended up looking like tiny buttons. So life went on smoothly, with
audiences staying engrossed with their phones and the channels working
themselves into a lather over their soaps faring badly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The GEC heads, driven to despair, called
for another meeting. "The management is clearly bored of directors dishing
out the same drivel on the channel," began a channel head. However, the
others were too busy with their mobiles, checking their respectiveshow ratings,
and ignored him. "Why are you guys phubbing me?" he demanded, feeling
irritated. "What's that?" the others asked, unfamiliar with the term.
"Phubbing - it's snubbing others by getting busy with the phone when
they're talking." "If snubbing people with a phone is called
phubbing, what's snubbing soaps with phones called?" one asked. "Sobbing?"
suggested another helpfully.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And that's the reason why, to this day,
die-hard fans of soaps are seen sobbing as they watch their favourite
characters go through one trauma after another, five days a week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-44301614747927579432013-08-10T11:13:00.000+05:302013-08-10T11:13:21.775+05:30Thumbs up to the three-finger salute <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>When fingers get into trouble
because of smartphones, trust technology to lend a helping hand. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It's official. Mobile phones are causing a lot of damage to
our fingers. And now that the royal heir is born, England have retained the
Ashes and the UK economy is looking up, a leading cellular service provider
from the Queen’s own country has decided to give their nation – and the world –
something new to talk about and thereby increase their revenue. That ‘something
new’ has turned out to be Thumbells, or dumbbells for the thumb. The product
has been created to heal sore thumbs and strengthen them for more action,
coming shortly in the form of 4G.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If the United Kingdom could do so much for its 83 million
subscribers, can India, with over 10 times that subscriber base, be left far
behind? While the nation keeps its fingers crossed, a group of tech wizards with
their fingers on the pulse of the common man have come up with a list of
innovations that are finger-licking good. And since different people message
differently, the innovations are varied, so that the whizzes can have a finger
in every pie. Here’s a sneak peek: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The Vulcan Nerve Pinch</b>: Who would have thought that the
‘Control-Alt-Delete’ routine that we've been practising for years to revive our
dying computers would resuscitate our lifeless fingers as well? Special gyms
with long rows of keyboards are being proposed where the manoeuvre – involving
the thumb and two other fingers – can be practised 20 times a day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Thummunity</b>: Several online groups are being planned
where finger gymmers can form a Thummunity - a Thumb Community. (Other fingers can
be included through referrals, and will be called members.) Sister associations
of the Thummunity are also planned – these will be called Fingerlings. One of
the highlights of these associations will be a forum that would offer ‘fingertips’
- useful suggestions for finger exercises. There will also be a medical forum titled
'Have you been fingered?' which will have experts from the medical community
addressing questions on the problems and solutions concerning damaged fingers
and their rehabilitation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Fingerbook</b>: Fingerbook is a variation of Facebook,
soon to be announced by the social media biggie.<span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;"> </span>Why Fingerbook? "Because," said a
senior programmer on conditions of anonymity, "if you can use your fingers
to update Facebook, why can't you use your face to update Fingerbook?" The
idea was to rest one’s digits and use other body parts, like the face, for
instance. This revolutionary thought has given rise to a new form of
communication, called Chilbow. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Chilbow</b>: Just because your fingers are in rehab, you
can't afford to not check mail or update your Facebook status. So, to cash in
on this thought, a tech entrepreneur has cashed in on the big bucks of several
angel investors and has found a unique way of updating Facebook – or Fingerbook
– posts. Called Chilbow, it’s a technique where one uses one's chins and elbows
to update status messages, upload photos and videos, and like posts from their
friends. Since behavioural patterns on Facebook already involve giving one the
cold shoulder, having tongues wag, getting nosy and putting one’s foot firmly
in the mouth, plans are on to expand the scope of this new communication
technique.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Full-finger workout</b>: This routine helps exercise all
10 fingers together and involves enacting the nursery rhyme 'One Little Finger'
five times a day. But for those who think it’s child’s play, suitable exercises
that involve imbibing nicely chilled, golden-brown liquids from large glass
mugs could do the trick. This not only exercises all five fingers, but also the
wrist. More for information, google Oktoberfest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">All the
ideas were well-appreciated and made the founders richer with several rounds of
funding, until one day, the bubble burst. Fingers were no longer needed to
interact with mobiles – a girl from Goa had come up with </span>gesture
recognition.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-62508756927608548242013-07-27T11:02:00.001+05:302013-07-27T11:02:18.431+05:30You err, it stirs…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The story of how
technology made the world tremble each time a spelling mistake was made...<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What do you get when you put together a processor, some memory,
Linux OS, vibration mode, motion sensor and Wi-Fi capabilities? A computer, of
course. Now, what happens when you add some ink and a nib to this contraption?
You get a digital pen that vibrates when it spots spelling mistakes or
illegible writing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The pulsating pen has steadily been writing its own success
story in traditional and social media. And
while the world stands agape at this new invention, India can only stand aside
and yawn. From doors that shut themselves till eternity if a wrong password is
uttered, to ghosts that give the slip when the wrong answer is given to their
question, we’ve seen it all in our mythological movies, haven’t we?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, since science is always given preference over
movies in our media, people have gone suitably ga-ga over the invention. And just
when the pen is all set to chalk its own course, the naysayers (read
manufacturers of ordinary gel pens and ball pens) have embarked on Project
Sabotage, to make sure that the success story of the pen springs a leak. Here’s
their side of the argument:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Imagine students writing their exams with this pen. They
would start trembling the minute they make a mistake. Schools would then inform
their parents who would start wondering if their child had contracted
examophobia, testitis, quizzaria or worse. This could in turn lead to child
psychiatrists working overtime and minting money. The DVD sales of Taare Zameen
Par will skyrocket all over again, with everyone wanting to know if a) their
kid has a problem and b) Aamir would visit their kid’s school as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There would also be other problems if the minicomputer
inside became virus-infected. Parents would have a tough time sending leave
letters to their kid's school stating that their ward be excused from attending
classes for two days because his pen had crashed. Schools would simply refuse
to entertain such nonsense. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doctors could also have a serious problem if they used the
pen to write prescriptions. The digital pen would go hyper trying to decipher
every squiggle of theirs – from Aspirin to Zinetac, not a word of their indecipherable
writing would make sense to the pen, so it would protest and vibrate non-stop.
And most pens would give up, with their mini on-board computer going into a
freeze each time the doctor started prescribing medicines. 'Patient alive, pen
dead' would be the common refrain heard in the corridors of every dispensary.
Even if the pens survived this graphologic nightmare, the doctors wouldn't be
able to handle so many vibrations each minute and would be forced to seek medical
assistance or an assistant, as the case may be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There could also be serious issues if the pen were to be
used in courts - judges and lawyers would appear to be under severe pressure if
the hand that wrote the verdict trembled because of the vibration. The battery
could be a problem as well - what if the pen ran out of charge and the writer
had 750 episodes left in his daily soap? And what if the battery leaked, creating
a short-circuit and sending coroners into a state of severe shock each time they
signed a death certificate?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Adding support to this argument, another anti-pen faction
began a movement to bring back the pencil and oust the digital pen. Called Pencil-in,
‘the vaccine for trembling hands’, this movement suggested an innovation which would
be so advanced that it would make the vibrating pen obsolete. The pen was able
to point out mistakes made, but this innovation would do better - it would carry
an implant that would actually help remove the error. This attachment needed no
maintenance, microchip, software, power source or upgrades. It wouldn't hang or
get corrupt. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that was how pencils with an eraser at the other end
were born. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-80095511532820327762013-07-13T14:08:00.003+05:302013-07-13T14:08:38.948+05:30Revenge of the rubber duckie<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Responding to the
trauma inflicted on animals in labs, the animal kingdom hits back where it
hurts most – at technology. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was the ultimate tale of revenge ever planned and
executed. For centuries, man had indiscriminately used animals for his
experiments. And one fine day, the animals decided that enough was enough, as
opposed to man's firm belief that the world is not enough, a philosophy he
imbibed from an entity appropriately named Everything Or Nothing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So the entire zoological universe went to the asinine
community for advice because they knew exactly how man thought – after all, man
was spending most of his life making an ass of himself. "We need to make
him powerless,” announced the head ass. “What is the one thing that he can't do
without?" "Mobile phones, internet, social networking sites..."
the answers came, fast and furious. “In other words, technology,” the ass declared
triumphantly. "So let's take that away from him by infiltrating into the tech
domain and making him redundant."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The move had to be slow, but persistent. The bug was sent in
first, in 1946. No one suspected a thing. Soon, the mouse scurried in, followed
by the virus and the worm. Meanwhile, the dog felt terribly insulted at his
exclusion, so the three-headed dog from Greek mythology, Kerberos, became a
network authentication protocol. Python, a programming language and Tomcat, a
web server, too got in unobserved. The penguin moved in as Tux, the Linux
mascot, computer data storage was taken over by RAM and the gnu became an
operating system. The infiltration process was complete. It was now time for takeover.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The dove interrupted the proceedings. "What we are
doing - it isn't fair." "Really?" the ass sneered. "Do you
know that the humans pinched all their technology from us? They took
echolocation from bats, navigation systems form pigeons, industrial adhesives
from geckos, cancer-detecting microchips from jellyfish, streamlined Bullet
trains from a kingfisher's bill and highway reflectors from cats' eyes? And
what have we got in return? Send our troop of monkeys now." <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The question 'How many monkeys would it take to type out the
entire works of Shakespeare?' started off being an extension of the light bulb
joke, but what man didn't realise was that the apes had taken it seriously. Soon,
they collaborated on 'Going simian with Shakespeare', a virtual project
involving virtual keyboards, and virtually came up with the entire unabridged
collection - okay, they had succeeded in recreating 99.990% of it. Suddenly, the
data entry industry found a new source of entry level operators, and by making
themselves available in large numbers, the chimps not only solved IT's constant
problem of manpower shortage, but also agreed to work for peanuts. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meanwhile the ass, while playing Donkey Kong, accidentally
clicked on a web banner for Flipkart and ended up ordering a book titled 'The
Pragmatic Programmer'. To his delight, he discovered a life-altering fact - a
programmer had used a rubber duck to debug code. (Actually, the programmer
would carry the rubber duck with him and explain the entire code line by line
to it, during the course of which he would figure out the problem himself, but
attributed the final results to his rubber duckie.) This was wonderful news. If
rubber ducks could repair Java code, imagine what live ducks could do! And it
was thus that the animals took to technology like a duck to water. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What's going to happen when the animals take over the tech
world entirely remains to be seen. But rumours are abound that once the monkeys
are through with Shakespeare, they will be working on an original book, titled
Man Farm, where men will be playing the roles of pigs, horses and other
animals. A hi-tech movie is also on the anvil, featuring lots of special
effects and a giant human being venturing into a forest, tentatively titled
Manzilla.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-86945437815114175362013-06-29T11:29:00.000+05:302013-06-29T11:29:14.460+05:30The loony side of technology <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US">Strange
things happen when the world’s most popular tech company begins to play with
balloons.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The top brass at Google were facing a bizarre
situation - they were running out of names for their projects. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Not only were
there so many experiments at the Google X lab, but there was stiff competition
from fellow technology companies that were appropriating several nomenclatures when
naming their products. For instance, Google could never think of naming its venture
after a dessert, not while Android, its own acquisition, was around. Nor could
it name its projects after wild cats when Apple was using the same line of
thought for its OS X.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It was also a challenge for Google because
after Google Earth, Google Space and Google Sky, the other natural elements
couldn’t follow. Google Air wasn't possible because Nike had already
appropriated that turf. Nor could Google Fire happen, thanks to Kindle Fire.
Besides, Google was in no mood to compete with Deepa Mehta and have projects
that shared their names with her movie titles. So they did away with the
natural elements fixation and chose to work with balloons instead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Balloons would be sent into the ozone for
the good of humanity (Now you know why Google’s slogan is 'Don't be evil'). The
G-team picked up around 40 giant helium-filled balloons, loaded them with
hi-tech hardware and some mind-blowing software, and launched them skywards.
Now, seeing giant objects in the sky can lead to one of two things - paranoia or
speculations of paranormal activities. The former had some basis as people were
already scared that Google could read their mail. (“How else would those ads
for Thai massage and Ting Ling lingerie magically appear in the right side
panel?”) And now, with those balloons looking down from the stratosphere, what
if they managed to peep through strategically positioned bathroom ventilators
and clicked snaps at 60 frames a second, in fast, continuous shooting mode?
Worse, what if these snaps were accidentally discovered in Google maps, when
one searched for 2nd Main Road, Indira Nagar and then zoomed in?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">However, the public was assured that no
such thing was going to happen and that the balloons were up there purely to
provide internet connectivity in remote places like the Swiss Alps. (Though Bollywood
will now have to worry about crew members leaking out songs even as they are
being shot, on the positive side, mountaineers will no longer have to plant
flags or leave behind a plaque that says that they made it there - they can simply
update their Facebook status.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Masses of floating objects invariably lead
to mass hysteria that the aliens are landing, and the balloons were sure to
cause a scare. Out of sheer concern for the palpitating public, Google decided
not to call the initiative Project UFO - Unerringly Finding Objects. Instead
they chose to name it after the balloons themselves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But ‘Project Balloon’ or ‘Google Balloon’
didn't have that ring to it. So the option was to split the word balloon and
use part of it. They couldn’t name it Project Ball - all those cool images of
Google offices and Google employees having fun had already given them quite a
reputation. Now, a name like that would only make people who had a sneaking
suspicion about Google employees having a ball, absolutely sure of the fact
that Google employees were indeed having a ball. Hence they took the latter
part of balloon and named it 'Project Loon'. For all those who thought that
sending balloons into the air for connecting people (Nokia simply had two
people shake hands) was the nuttiest thing one can do, this played right into
their hands – just go online to see the kind of puns and jokes doing the rounds
now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Thus, through its helium-powered, High
Altitude Platforms (HAP) set aloft 12 miles above the earth, using advanced
flight control systems, solar panels and internet circuit boards, Google
succeeded in proving a century-old hypothesis - technology's a lot of hot air.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-38413433560058250542013-06-15T12:33:00.002+05:302013-06-15T12:33:57.088+05:30Searching without Google…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Civilisation explores its
dark side and embarks on a dangerous experiment – one that doesn’t involve
technology.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On November 22, 2012, disaster struck the world – actually,
it struck just parts of Australia, but since their cricket team was getting
beaten by every other country, the nation decided to adopt the American motto
of 'We are the world' and focus only on its Big Bash league. And thus, the disaster
was dubbed to be one of global proportions. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A telecom major suffered a blackout because of a fire and it
led to a world that was left bereft of technology. Research indicates that on
an average, people had to spend 10.59 days without internet, 10.12 days without
a landline and 4.21 days without mobile phone service. However, what the
research failed to measure was the volume of tears shed by many – living
without technology was bad news, but if there was something worse than feeling
bad, it was the fact that no one could post how they felt, online.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Soon light dawned on mankind. The blackout wasn’t when they
lost access to technology - it was that prolonged era when they had become
slaves to technology. The wise men congregated and soon, arrived at a decision.
"We've survived for centuries before computers, so why should we be so
dependent on them in the ‘after digital’ era?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thus technology found itself booted out of many houses.
Door-to-door salesmen of atlases, dictionaries and encyclopedias hit jackpot as
GPS apps, online thesauri and Google search were abandoned. Kumon classes were over-attended
with great zeal as people realised that they had to learn to calculate all over
again. Memory Plus tablets (or the equivalent of it Down Under) set new sales
records as everyone tried to remember birthdays and phone numbers - the absence
of mobile phones meant no birthday alarms or contact lists. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even old-fashioned mechanical clock businesses that had
wound up long ago reopened their shops because digital clocks and LED displays
were no longer permitted inside homes. Manual cameras and film were back in
vogue and people were spared close-up shots of shoe laces, saliva dribbles of
dogs, and of lizards eating moths – luckily for them, both community websites
and digital cameras were out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Banks resumed their duty of being a social hangout for the
retired types and pickpockets enjoyed a new lease of life, with people carrying
cash instead of credit cards. Post offices did brisk business, selling
truckloads of envelopes and letters, while dogs were delighted as more postmen
began coming around. Hallmark and Archies were so overwhelmed by the unexpected
demise of e-cards that they promptly announced a new occasion to be celebrated
- the Kick Tech Butt day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So life was chugging along merrily, until things came to a
grinding halt. Over the years, Facebook had changed people's habits as they
didn't have to peek into others' homes, look through keyholes or eavesdrop by the
window to know what was going on with the world – the regular status updates
would say it all. But now, without social networking sites, it was getting increasingly
difficult to find out what people wore in their holidays, how husbands wished
wives on their anniversaries and where people binged the previous night. The
old-age art of keeping tabs on the neighbours had become extinct. Society went
into a deep freeze – people simply had no idea as to what was happening in
others’ lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was utterly disgusting. "These days, what happens in
the family," a socially challenged citizen lamented, "stays in the
family." And that was the last straw. Unable to bear it anymore, people
threw open the doors to technology once again. The laptops, mobiles, tablets
and the internet connection were back. "Never again," muttered the
scarred veterans as they shook their heads gravely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
And they all lived happily ever after, kick-starting the celebrations
with the latest status update - Avi was going to wear a pink ribbon around his
neck when wishing his wife on their 23<sup>rd</sup> wedding anniversary. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-28299434702031303762013-06-01T12:34:00.002+05:302013-06-01T12:34:24.669+05:30Can't touch this...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Technology reveals a new world of communication where it’s
cool to be ‘out of touch’.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For years, touch was considered an important part of
communication – until it took a young girl from Goa to tear through the scratch
guard, break through the guerrilla glass touchscreen and create a touch-free
revolution in mobile technology. To the mobile phone junkie, this translates
into a future where he wouldn't have to touch a thing to be in touch with the
world.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, one doesn’t ‘touch’ a mobile phone anymore, how does one
communicate? Through gestures, of course. The next generation of phones is being
prepared for gesture recognition through '3dim', or high quality 3-d sensing
achieved through patented signal processing methods. So, instead of issuing
commands to your mobile through touch, you can use a set of hand movements that
it can recognize and respond to.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But interpreting gestures and signs can be a pretty
confusing affair – at times, the same gesture could mean different things to different people, like the famous
Indian head bobble. To avoid the muddle that gesture recognition could cause, technology
has come up with a few alternatives that could help us communicate, both with
our mobiles and with one another. <span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Accoustech</b>: A technology
that uses acoustics to help mobile phones convey a message – this is in
complete irreverence to the silent mode. Mobiles will henceforth use sounds, like
snarling noises to indicate year-end appraisal, childlike laughter to signal
wife leaving town, sobs to announce that your favourite serial is beginning – and
loud growls to indicate hunger.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Chromatech</b>: This technology
works through chromatic gradations - or colour changes that the mobile displays. Bright shades of yellow indicate that
gold prices have come down, red communicates a <span lang="EN-US">bad feeling that the prices have gone down
further after your gold shopping, </span>green indicates that the neighbours
got a better deal than you did, and shades of black and blue point out that <span lang="EN-US">what </span>you’ve bought is not even
18 carat gold. Employers can also use this technology to find out if their
employees are faking a fever and playing hooky, by holding their mobile close
to them - if it turns pink, they are in good health and are fit enough to work.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Optech</b>: This uses
an optical mode of communication. The wallpaper and the display of the mobile
screen change based on your mood, from bright, happy flowers and tranquil
waterfalls to Megadeth skulls and Ghost Rider close-ups. Other display
techniques include a change in opacity and dual tones, for the Gemini types or for
those in two minds.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Aromatech</b>: This
technology enables your mobile to release various aromas that can convey a
message. Digital scent technology has been around for some time now - so why
not make use of it? It could also help employees alert their colleagues who are
goofing off. A quick garlic and BO whiff from their mobile would be enough to
let them know that the boss is approaching their desk.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Statech</b>: Using
technology that releases static pulsations, mobiles resort to communication of
the seismic kind, thereby giving the good old vibration mode its share of the
limelight. This method allows the mobile to sense its owner's mood and pass on messages
through a series of vibrations. So when someone sends you a message about a big
question mark on IPL 7, your mobile will make sure that you look appropriately
shaken up.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Energetech</b>: This
is cutting-edge technology of the energetic kind, in the form of shock impulses
that involve electroreception. In other words, the mobile carries your message in
the form of an impulse. If the recipient is carrying his mobile in his person,
the effect would be telling - or screaming, depending on the intensity of the
shock.<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<i><span lang="EN-US">Note: All
the new technologies were created by taking traditional communication methods used
by animals and changing the 'tic' in their names into tech. All of them are deemed
fictional until the time someone really comes up with them.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-71129938866388343452013-05-18T11:14:00.003+05:302013-05-18T11:14:29.476+05:30Technology in sleep mode<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>Finally, a research document on how our sleeping
positions are linked to technology.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s a revelation
that has come as a wake-up call – who would have thought that our sleeping
positions would actually reveal our technology preferences! <b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>Foetal <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Those who
sleep in the foetal position </span>were born with a USB cord instead of an
umbilical cord and consider themselves to be technology’s children. They are
known to worry unnecessarily – has that mobile been charged? What if the laptop
performed the ‘blue screen of death’ act tomorrow? They are also known to be
sensitive inside and cannot handle any kind of rejection, especially of the
password kind. Imagine being denied the pleasure of checking the number of ‘aww<span lang="EN-US">w</span>s’ that a cute family photo
uploaded earlier on Facebook has received – it’s things like this that make
them curl up in the foetal position.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Log <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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The Log people sleep on their sides with their arms close to
their body – being stubborn by nature, they cannot tolerate any change in
technology. This translates into a resounding ‘no’ to the new Chrome browser that
they are asked to check out every time they log into Gmail, and to the latest smartphone
that the ads glorify, despite the fact that their ancient Motorola mobile
frequently gets mistaken for the TV remote. They are also known to be gullible
and often end up trusting Mr. John Smith from the UK who asks for their bank details
to transfer his entire fortune to them, or Ms. Thandiwe Traore from Nigeria
asking for some urgent help as she is stranded amongst cannibals and needs
money to bribe them and escape. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>Yearner <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Yearners are known to sleep on their sides with their arms
stretched out– a habit that comes from checking their mails and messages even
as they walk. And as their name suggests, they yearn for the latest version of
any technology – be it iPhone 6 or Google’s self-driven car. They are also chronic
time wasters, which automatically makes them any social networking site’s
delight. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>Freefaller <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Freefallers sleep on their stomachs with their arms
outstretched, gripping their pillow – almost as if they are holding on for dear
life to what they have. Technology has let them down so many times that they
are reduced to nervous wrecks, always anticipating that stinker mail from the
client or that disaster call from work in the middle of the night. So
subconsciously, they are forever ready to pick up that mobile from their
bedside on first ring, which explains why their arms are outstretched. As for
gripping their pillow, it’s a sign that they have spent weary years clutching
the printer that typically went haywire minutes before a presentation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Soldier<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Imagine standing in attention – and dropping into bed in the
same position. That’s the soldier position, and people who sleep in this
position tend to be militant about their technology as well. You’ll never catch
them downloading stuff onto their computers, checking out apps for their mobile
or looking at online deals greedily for the next best sale in town. ‘Soldier’
sleepers have a tendency to snore because of their sleeping position– if only the
technology that was kind enough to offer us a sleep mode could give them a
silent mode.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>Starfish<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Researchers have related the starfish position – where
people sleep on their back with their arms spread out around the pillow – to a
friendly disposition. Just prop them up in front of a terminal in that very
pose and you’ll realize how apt the description is. Sitting with their arms wrapped
around the monitor, with their face almost into it, ‘Starfish’ sleepers spend
hours on chats and Skype calls, listening to the problems of the world and
offering their help.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Note: All sleeping positions are real, but all
associations to technology have been fabricated</i>. <i>The scope of this
research was restricted to sleeping positions at home – those at the workplace
have not been considered.</i><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3292153526271012842.post-91523563600882318132013-05-04T11:35:00.002+05:302013-05-04T11:35:03.861+05:30Splitting hairs on technology<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>What technology gives,
technology takes. Here’s some hair-raising proof…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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There are two kinds of people in this world – the haves, who
are of the hirsute variety and are desperate to lose some hair, and the
have-nots, who would do anything to get the fuzz back on their head. However,
both have one thing in common – they are both running a fine-toothed comb
through technology, to find an answer. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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While records reveal that the haves have had a close shave
with technology, the hair clinics have been bombarding the have-nots with
messages like ‘Hair on, or happiness gone’. And it’s working, because it’s
common knowledge that while it can get lonely at the top, it certainly can't
get sparse. So these hair clinics used cutting-edge technology to come up with
Follicular Unit Transplantation (FUT). Of course, looking at the current crop of
cricketers and commentators, one realises that the transplant has to be done
carefully or the result would be closer to a fruit than FUT, what with the 'FUT
head' resembling a pineapple. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Another key advancement is the laser light treatment which
promises not only to make light of the baldness problem, but also make the
future of bald pates brighter and put a mane on man. Called
photobiostimulation, the technique has resulted in stimulating the economy of
several countries to a large extent, with billions of dollars being spent on
GDP (Gross Development of Pilus). Cloning has become another rage, with cells
from a strand of human hair being cloned into thousands of replicas, all of
which could be planted in the barren areas. It didn't matter if people suddenly
had no resemblance to their mug shots in their passport or driver's license - it
was a case of prioritising social recognition over facial recognition. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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However, there is another school of thought that is losing
hair at the very mention of laser light being used to grow hair. Wasn't laser
technology supposed to aid hair removal in the first place? Refusing to be
drawn into petty fights involving the laser ("That's more Darth Vader's
domain, isn't it?"), the beauty industry worked in close collaboration
with the medical fraternity - much like a shampoo and conditioner - and came up
with the Intense Pulsed Light (IPL), which helps in hair removal and in
photorejuvenation (a technical term for looking refreshed and youthful in a
photo after an IPL session). <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There’s a very simple law of physics which says that light
travels from a bulb to an object. IPL simply reverses this law and light - an
entire spectrum of it - is made to penetrate the skin and travel to the bulb - of
the hair, at its roots. Disputing any law generates a lot of heat and it is
apparently this heat that destroys the hair, shaft and all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But there are issues with it. The variable pricing could
make people's hairs stand on end. And it's certainly not advisable for pregnant
women and people with sensitive skin. Besides, areas where hair removal has
been done should not be exposed to harsh sunlight. (In Chennai, that would mean
not having an IPL session all year.) Reports also have it that the treatment
may not be entirely painless. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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To all those looking for an option, may we suggest the IPL
(Indian Premier League). With nine teams, 200 players, 496 sponsors, 12,496
runs, 219,865 ads and 4,780,961 tweets, you have enough stats to make you want
to tear your hair out. Following it on the mobile or on your tablet calls for a
bit of technology, but look at the positive side of things - it's absolutely
free.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Besides, who would have thought that technology's worthy answer
to DHT (dihydrotestosterone – the hormone responsible for baldness in men)
would be DTH?<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0