When fingers get into trouble
because of smartphones, trust technology to lend a helping hand.
It's official. Mobile phones are causing a lot of damage to
our fingers. And now that the royal heir is born, England have retained the
Ashes and the UK economy is looking up, a leading cellular service provider
from the Queen’s own country has decided to give their nation – and the world –
something new to talk about and thereby increase their revenue. That ‘something
new’ has turned out to be Thumbells, or dumbbells for the thumb. The product
has been created to heal sore thumbs and strengthen them for more action,
coming shortly in the form of 4G.
If the United Kingdom could do so much for its 83 million
subscribers, can India, with over 10 times that subscriber base, be left far
behind? While the nation keeps its fingers crossed, a group of tech wizards with
their fingers on the pulse of the common man have come up with a list of
innovations that are finger-licking good. And since different people message
differently, the innovations are varied, so that the whizzes can have a finger
in every pie. Here’s a sneak peek:
The Vulcan Nerve Pinch: Who would have thought that the
‘Control-Alt-Delete’ routine that we've been practising for years to revive our
dying computers would resuscitate our lifeless fingers as well? Special gyms
with long rows of keyboards are being proposed where the manoeuvre – involving
the thumb and two other fingers – can be practised 20 times a day.
Thummunity: Several online groups are being planned
where finger gymmers can form a Thummunity - a Thumb Community. (Other fingers can
be included through referrals, and will be called members.) Sister associations
of the Thummunity are also planned – these will be called Fingerlings. One of
the highlights of these associations will be a forum that would offer ‘fingertips’
- useful suggestions for finger exercises. There will also be a medical forum titled
'Have you been fingered?' which will have experts from the medical community
addressing questions on the problems and solutions concerning damaged fingers
and their rehabilitation.
Fingerbook: Fingerbook is a variation of Facebook,
soon to be announced by the social media biggie. Why Fingerbook? "Because," said a
senior programmer on conditions of anonymity, "if you can use your fingers
to update Facebook, why can't you use your face to update Fingerbook?" The
idea was to rest one’s digits and use other body parts, like the face, for
instance. This revolutionary thought has given rise to a new form of
communication, called Chilbow.
Chilbow: Just because your fingers are in rehab, you
can't afford to not check mail or update your Facebook status. So, to cash in
on this thought, a tech entrepreneur has cashed in on the big bucks of several
angel investors and has found a unique way of updating Facebook – or Fingerbook
– posts. Called Chilbow, it’s a technique where one uses one's chins and elbows
to update status messages, upload photos and videos, and like posts from their
friends. Since behavioural patterns on Facebook already involve giving one the
cold shoulder, having tongues wag, getting nosy and putting one’s foot firmly
in the mouth, plans are on to expand the scope of this new communication
technique.
Full-finger workout: This routine helps exercise all
10 fingers together and involves enacting the nursery rhyme 'One Little Finger'
five times a day. But for those who think it’s child’s play, suitable exercises
that involve imbibing nicely chilled, golden-brown liquids from large glass
mugs could do the trick. This not only exercises all five fingers, but also the
wrist. More for information, google Oktoberfest.
All the
ideas were well-appreciated and made the founders richer with several rounds of
funding, until one day, the bubble burst. Fingers were no longer needed to
interact with mobiles – a girl from Goa had come up with gesture
recognition.
No comments:
Post a Comment