When the world’s most
miserly duck becomes a tech fan and kind-hearted at the same time, you know
what to expect. Or do you?
‘Nothing like amortizing one gift across two occasions,’ Scrooge
McDuck told himself as he decided to give away gifts to his great-nephews on
the 28th of December, right in between Christmas and New Year. “Bah,
kids these days! They seem to want some gizmo or the other…dratted technology!”
he muttered as he began writing notes to accompany each of the gifts.
To Huey, who constantly loses his way in life, I gift Skully
Helmet, a helmet that will not only show him the way, but will also provide regular
weather updates. The helmet is powered by Android (Android - Google - searching
for directions... got it?) and is Bluetooth-enabled, so you can access maps and
driving directions on the move. And you don't have to endanger yourself by
speaking on your mobile while riding your bike - this helmet can keep you connected
to your network. (Life has always been a hands-free experience for you, the only
difference being that you can now keep your hands on the handlebar and let go
of the mobile.)
There's even a little display in front of you that will show
you route maps and other details you might need to know. And you've always
grumbled to me that you don't have eyes on the back of your head - this helmet
will rectify that, via a rear-view camera that will give you a 180-degree view
of all that's happening behind you as well.
And don't worry about someone swiping the helmet from your
bike when you've parked it outside, because the helmet has voice recognition
features. I’m delighted that you’ll finally have a head that will be equally alert
to an upcoming bend, an incoming message and impending rains. And yes, when
you're listening to music, it'll also notify you what’s next, so if it’s Justin
Bieber, you can skip or repeat, depending on whichever side of the bed you got
out of.
To Dewey - since your name has been used everywhere from a
Lemony Snicket novel to the Scream movie series, I’m sure that you’re suffering
from an identity crisis. It calls for a doctor, but you know that I’ll never
pay for one, so I herewith gift you a headset that helps monitor health. It
also plays music, can be used as a training device and helps record various
vital stats - from heart beat to calories used up. (A sensor module fitted in
it helps track such information.) It also helps track your speed and distance
covered when you're exercising. (How? Infrared light, accelerometer and all
that jazz.)
As for its accuracy, don't doubt it, it's as good as an ECG
machine or a heart rate monitor. Since it’s based on the latest sensor
technology, it can also be hooked up to your smartphone - and there's an app
(for both iOS and Android) that takes care of the rest. Whew, that’s fitness,
training, music and health, all combined into one.
To Louie, ever since you heard the hit single ‘Brother
Louie’ by Modern Talking and by Hot Chocolate, you’re constantly on your mobile
(modern talking?) and have become hooked on to cooking. So I gift you a Smart
Kettle. It's Wi-Fi enabled, so you can be anywhere in the house and still
control the kettle with the help of an app. Imagine being woken up in the
morning by your smartphone and being asked if you need to switch the smart
kettle on. How about that? There are four different temperature settings and a
host of other hi-tech features, so the kettle can even be programmed to keep
the tea warm until you’re ready to have it, whenever that might be. (And you'll
get a text from the kettle when the water's on the boil.)
Hope I don’t get bothered for an entire year now. And oh,
have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
